Monday, January 26, 2009

Set them free!

I have a bit of an embarrassing problem. I have become hooked on evangelistic radio.

We bought a new car in October. Unlike most cars in Malawi, the radio actually works. But like those other cars that do have working radios, it only picks up one channel. You see, for some reason, cars from Japan, where most of the imports here come from, have different radio bandwidths. The radios go from channel 70.0 to 90.0. The Malawi radio stations broadcast on the US channels, though - 88.0 to 108.0 or so. So there is very little overlap.

The African Bible College radio station just happens to fall into that narrow range. So it is always on in my car. I sing along to the praise music. I nod my head to messages of inspiration. I yell rude epithets at the conservative pastor who preaches against homosexuality.

But most of all, I get caught up in the sweeping dramas. The station sometimes airs these testimonials of people who turned their lives around thanks to Jesus (“Unshackled: dramatized true stories of sinners set free”) Today it was a meth addict. One day it was a biker chick with a drinking problem. There was Tilley, unemployed mom of three (who quite frankly sounded like a real loser) who found God through the Avon lady.

The stories are narrated by “actors”, whose voices invariably have Southern accents (or faked foreign accents for the immigrants. Jorge and I loved the story about the Russians being persecuted for their faith. The actors sounded like a bunch of “Van Helsing” rejects).

Here’s a typical line: “One night, I was so drunk that I ended up in a rescue mission. I asked them ‘Do you serve beer here?’ and they told me ‘No, here we serve the Lord Jesus Christ’”

Oh Lord, this is quality entertainment. Thank you for bringing it into my life. I find myself sitting in my car in the driveway, not wanting to get out until that climactic moment when the poor wretch is born again, saved. It always ends that way, of course. Then the acoustic guitar kicks in and we all sing along to the happy sounds of salvation.

Seriously, isn’t this so much better than listening to Usher singing about having sex in a nightclub?


Joan said...

Yes Lord!

Jennifer said...

I have that same problem! Only mine is with Dave Ramsey. Lord help us all.

Tina said... the immortal words of my born-again yahoo christian freak of an uncle, you best be careful or god's gonna git you!

We think he has a secret cult like that whacko from waco!

dc writers group said...

Funny...there are some places in PA like this....Hope you are doing well and thanks for the funny stories....keeps me entertained.

Lex said...

WOW Gwen! I can't imagin a more obvious sign for you to accept Christ into your own heart and become born again.
Perhaps you shoudl think about it deeply, for Milo's sake.

Miriam said...

I don't know... I mean "I wanna make love in this club" is a pretty deep statement. Really, think about it.