Valid reasons to be annoyed with my husband

For some time now, Jorge has said that he wants to do a guest post on my blog, entitled “Stupid reasons my wife has gotten mad at me.”

Yes, I admit it, I have a temper. I frequently get annoyed with my spouse. But if you ask me, there is always a perfectly logical, justifiable reason for my aggravation.

Well, today I’m jumping the gun and offering a little bit of an advance rebuttal. Consider the evidence that my husband can be a big poo:

• He has spent the last 12 days traipsing around Mozambique – diving, eating fresh seafood, no doubt drinking fruity cocktails out of coconut shells – while I have spent that time working. (And let’s not even get into the trips to Colombia, Tanzania, New Orleans, South Africa…)
• He got himself “stuck” in Swaziland (oh yeah, visa delays…haven’t I heard that one before?) and now wants to postpone his flight home for a few more days.
• Despite the fact that we are both in agreement that Facebook is pretty stupid and we don’t really get it, he has enough savvy to understand that he can irritate me by not accepting me as a friend. Me, his best friend in the world. He says, in his impish little way, “Why do you want to cramp my style?”

So what do you think? Butthead, or no?

But it is OK. I will soon be vindicated. Because I have realized something that my husband hasn’t: Very soon, what little “style” he still has after more than three years of marriage to me is about to evaporate completely. As he is walking around the Lilongwe market, shopping for produce with our child strapped to his chest in a sling or something equally foolish, I will be delighting in the derision of the African male. Oh, the sweet mockery of a chauvinist society toward a stay-at-home dad. Vengeance at last.